From the Archives: Lloyd Kaufman

And its time for another treat for all you loyal Fiends and Fiendettes out there. This interview hails from 2005, and was conducted via email with the legendary Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Studios, the longest running still active 100% Independent film studio in the USA (and probably the world). Enjoy:

Oh yes, I cannot believe how lucky we are here at the pit, as ANOTHER living legend joins the ranks of Pit Alumni……Gynos and Gentlemen, I give you Lloyd Kaufman!

1: Writer, director, producer, editor, actor, the list goes on……..Is there anything you HAVENT done in relation to making films?

Well thank you very much! But I did notice that you forgot to mention the beginnings of my career in film… I was well known as a legendarily poor fluffer on the gay film sets in Hell’s Kitchen! In fact, it was when I was finally promoted to mop-boy in the jerk-booths that I came up with the inspiration for one of Troma’s most lasting icons. That’s right –Dolphin Man! Oh, that sheen still gets me hard.

2: What kind of impact do you see the current US administrations heavy lean to the right having on the independant film sector?

From fluffers to shitheads! Don’t get me started! Troma and Roger Corman are the only truly indie studios left!!! First, Bill Clinton finished what Reagan started. And now Bush? Hey — did I mention Bush was my classmate at Yale? If only I knew now what I knew then… I would have charged him twice as much for all that dope! (I could use the cash to support me in my later years as a struggling independent filmmaker!) These bigots and hypocrites have got to go, starting with the Senator of New York, who’s felching cash from the left with one mouth, and fellating the right with the other. Yes, boys and gynos, it’s time for a regime change in both our government and the elite conglomerates who run the fart- er… artworld.

3: How do you keep going, mentally and emotionally, with all the problems Troma has faced over the years?

Problems? Who, me? What? I’m okay. Why are you looking at me like that? Goddamn, okay — it’s a trial. The dank mega-corporations try to poison us daily — both as audiences (with the automated filmic crap they’ve been shitting out ceaselessly) and as filmmakers (by trying to strangle us out of any distribution in the market). But as long as the film keeps rolling in those cameras, and as long as independent filmmakers can still have any voice, I can keep going. Oh god… who’s outside my door?

4: For those who haven’t read either of your best selling books (for shame on them!), tell us a little about a day in the life of Lloyd Kaufman.

Well, first of all, I’d tell them to go out and buy either of them at amazon.co.uk — they’re filled with as much sex and guts and vomit and piss and shit as any of my films, and every one of my dreams. (Did I tell you about the dream I had last night? Filled with piss and shit — both of them. I mean in separate dreams, but still. What do you think this means? Write me at lloyd@troma.com and let me know what you think.) Anyhow, if you’re not going to buy a copy, then I’ll tell you all about the rats. The goddamn rats. Every other producer in Hollywood has assistants, and assistants to their assistants, and assistants to those fucking assistants. And me? Me? I’ve got rats. Literally. All over the fucking basement, shitting everywhere. All over the original negative for The Toxic Avenger. All over the penis monster prosthetic. It’s terrible! As soon as I finish this interview, I’m headed into the basement with a shovel and a can of mace, to take care of those fuckers. After that I’ll track down Andy Deemer, and find out how the fuck we can shoot “Poultrygeist: Attack of the Chicken Zombies!” in four months if we don’t have an army of chicken zombie prosthetics! (Now if you have any experience with prosthetics, go to www.poultrygeistmovie.com and send in your resume! We need zombie chickens!!!)

5: How surprised were you at the critical response to Terror Firmer? Did you feel vindicated? Relieved? Bemused?

Relieved. Really fucking relieved. I held back for fourteen months just so that opening day I could pee all over the fucking trash newspapers. Let me tell you — to piss across Elvis Mitchell’s hailing of the film as “truly scary, and funny” was an experience indeed.

6: What is your opinion on the way some of your low budget peers from the 80s/early 90s (Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson) have infiltrated the mainstream in Hollywood? Is this good for the film industry?
Let spill no ill will from these fine lips of mine. No, no, no… actually, Raimi, Jackson and Trey Parker are geniuses, and all good, good guys. (Trey Parker, of course, wrote and directed Troma’s “Cannibal! The Musical”) They’re having a great effect on the industry, bringing their early influences with them into the mainstream. I also expect Troma alumni James Gunn (of “Tromeo & Juliet”, as well as writer of the “Dawn of the Dead” remake) to join their illustrious ranks soon!

7: Has there ever been a time when you were tempted to move the whole Troma operation out of New York? If so, why?

Yes, once. On November 7, 2000. The day that two-faced Hillary Clinton, the notorious White House silverware-thief, was elected to the United States Senate as a “representative” for New York. Represent, my ass. See my comments above for further explanation, if it’s even necessary.

8: Out of the current crop of genre directors who excites you the most?

Of course there’s Eli Roth, director of the gore-filled “Cabin Fever” and the work in progress “Hostel”. And I expect grand things from my good friend (and Tromeo & Juliet collaborator) James Gunn, who’s in production on his feature directorial debut, “Slither”. (Keep an eye out for yours truly in the “Sad Drunk” role.) But most of all I’d have to say Japanese genre-bender Takashi Miike. Audition, Ichi The Killer, Dead or Alive: they’re all wonderful and so fucking splatter filled. I love it. “Poultrygeist!” is Troma’s fromage to The Happiness of the Katakuris. As long as Andy can get me those damn prosthetics! (see above)

9: Apart from the money, what made you want to write books?

Money??? I had to pay St. Martin’s Press to get my last damn book published. Plus, I had to give some guy a blowjob. (When I say “had”, it’s all relative. I’m not even sure he necessarily worked there. But I didn’t think it could hurt.) No, I actually wrote the books to inspire people to become independent artists, and to give them a helping hand along that road. Hell — if idiots like us have been making our own damn movies for the past 30 years, anyone can do it! I like to see Troma as more than a film company — and book company now. Instead, I see it as a grand artistic movement, fanning the embers of indie film into a huge blaze. (See Tromadance.com for more information on that wild fire!)

10: You apologise at the start of Citizen Toxie for the Toxic Avenger parts 2 and 3. Are you really that disappointed with those films?

I think that they are both great movies in general, but that I personally made too many artistic compromises. I regret this.

11: Tromadance 2005 has just passed. Could you tell the readers out there a little about what went down this year?
For those that don’t know, TromaDance is the first film festival wholeheartedly devoted to filmmakers and fans. Unlike every other film festival, TromaDance does not charge filmmakers to submit their films. It features a range of films made independently, usually without big stars, big money and far removed from the Hollywood studio system. The official selections of TromaDance have been made with nothing more than passion, courage, integrity, and raw talent.

TromaDance is an opportunity for everyone who’s ever picked up a camera to have their work seen without the compromises required by elitist cartel interference.. TromaDance is proud to be the first and only film festival of the people, for the people, and by the people.

This year, it all went extraordinarily well. I recommend people check out the website, at tromadance.com, or pick up a DVD of some of the best entries! You can get those at buy.tromamovies.com.

12: Would you agree with the statement that in the current cinematic climate the distribution chain (filmmaker to cinema) has returned to the pre 1960s ‘Studio System’ whereby the major players control what product the cinema goer gets to see? Can you see this changing?

Again, I’d have to recommend my ‘Roid about the Oscars. (See “Lloyd’s Roids”, http://www.troma.com/lk/oscars2005/) Yes — the American film industry has become dominated by a terrifying oligarchy that has wrested control from independent filmmakers like myself, and independent distributors like Troma. Directors and producers are becoming little more than “work for hire” providers, sating the devil’s every whim. The only way it’ll change is if more independent filmmakers speak out to the media and the government, both of which are unfortunately dominated by the same few faces that own the distribution and production channels. Murdoch. AOHell. Slime Warner. Disney. It’s an uphill battle, but I’m determined to make my mark.

There are also promising advances with the new technology and the internet… these may unseat the cartel of devil-worshipping media conglomerates who are the traditional gatekeepers, and economic blacklisters of independent art.

13: Why do you hate Digital Video so much?

If it looks like shit, and smells like shit, and even tastes like shit, it must be… goddamn, this is shit!!! What the… I thought I cleaned up this fucking spot!!! Goddamn rats. Ech. (Did I mention that I’m writing this from the basement of the Troma building? It’s the only place where we can leech the wireless internet connection from the McDonalds next door.)
No — the real problem is that most digital movies don’t have properly-lit sets and actors, and have crappy sound. Both of these can be a real problem when you’re trying to fall into a feature or short. But go buy a copy of Make Your Own Damn Movie, or check out the (about to be released) DVD boxset… I certainly don’t *hate* Digital Video — I just prefer film. (Oh, you should see the Troma library projected on Nitrate film stock — now there’s a technology worth returning to! A pity it’s so explosive.) No, you should check out some of Troma’s latest releases: Giuseppe Andrew’s white-trash Trailer Town, and Mark Hicks’ action-packed sci-fi epic Actium Maximus. And Suicide (aka FinalCut.com) is a splatterotica masterpiece. These are all grand features that make full use of the low-cost and ease of DV. And don’t miss the ninth tenet of Dogpile 95: “The film format must be Academy 35… er 16mm… er video… just make your movie anyway you can get it done. As long as it doesn’t suck.” More info at http://www.dogpile95.com

14: Do you have any word of encouragement for any budding filmmakers reading this?

Do what you truly believe in. “To thine own self be true.” That phrase was coined by William Shakespeare, the legendary bard know for his best-selling “101 Money-Making Screenwriting Ideas.” Otherwise known as “Hamlet”

Many thanks Lloyd…..now, about those rats…………………………..

About the Author

Robb Hitchen

Administrator

Robb is a mid-40s horror nerd. He graduated from Staffordshire University in 2001 with a B.A. (Hons) in Film, Television, & Radio Studies. He has never worked in these fields.

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